Another week, another rant and on V-Day nonetheless. You would think for a V-Day rant that I would be writing a loving article about something but no I must attack a group that ruins the online experience for many a gamer. The online jerks, cheaters, racists, etc....

So follow me on my warpath against those who would seek to hinder our enjoyment.....

After the jump...

Why, oh why do I continuously run into these asshats who would rather be annoying to everyone else than to actually, I don't know, play the damn game! It seems that for every one enjoyable game that I have, five more aggravating ones will surely follow. There's nothing like joining a game and someone screaming into your ear as soon as you enter the game lobby. Thanks fellow gamer, I was just sitting here on my couch thinking..."You know what, I could really use a good ear bleed right about now." So thanks for helping me out there, jackass. I also need you to tell me what race I am because quite frankly I have no idea that what race I belong to. I can go from being a cracka to a n**** in one game, it's astonishing. Your psychic powers don't stop there either, you are able to deduce my sex, sexual orientation, age, and income all by just hearing my voice. These are truly amazing powers that you seem to have. Your mastery of the English language is just music to my ears. You are all retards but I think you are already aware of this. I'm sure that you all of your lives you have been told that you are a very "special" child.

Now for you other nefarious scum......the cheaters/hackers/modders. I'm not referring to those who mod games to make new levels, characters, etc...which add to the game. Oh no, I'm referring to the dumbasses who feel that they need to mod a game so they can win without exerting too much effort or brain power in the process. Why do you feel it's ok to alter the rules of a game just so that you can win, is their some kind of cash prize at the end of all....a trophy, a car, a house, anything....then I might could understand your attempts. Sadly none of those things are going to be given to anyone and the only thing you are striving to achieve is a higher number next to your gamertag. "Look at me, I'm a 40, I'm l33t, you are a 24, you f'n noob" is something you might say which coincidentally puts you into the mastery of the English language category with your jackass brethren in the paragraph above. Good for you, you're a 40 and I hope that serves you well when you put in your resume when you actually decide to seek meaningful employment. I can see you interviewing for the job now.....

Interviewer: "You don't quite meet our requirements for the job so we'll have to pass on you but thank you for your time."

Interviewee: "But I'm l33t, I have a 42 ranking on Halo 2"

Interviewer: "Well why didn't you say so to begin with, we'll be glad to let you manage our accounting dept."

Yep, that's reality....in your world. Go ahead and try to use your gamer "skillz" to get ahead in life....let me know how that works out for you. I thought the whole purpose of playing games online was to have fun while competing against other people across the globe. I guess you didn't get that email. I think they need to create a game lobby just for cheaters and you can all have fun cheating against each other to see who has the best mod.

But please for the sake of gamers everywhere who just want to have some fun and play fair, leave us the HELL alone. We're not amused by you. We don't care that your mom still cooks and does your laundry for you even though you are 35. We don't care if you skipped class in middle school today. We don't even care if you still nurse on your mommy's breast. We just want to play a game and be able to enjoy it without having to worry about some dumbass who thinks he's cool going out of his way to prove that he's not.

I have two pieces of advice for all you who fall into these groups:

1. Go outside from time to time.

2. Get a life.

-Brad

P.S. This does not pertain to this article but look for my Fight Night Round 3 Review before the end of the month :D