October 19th, 2005:

Saddam Hussein walked into an Iraqi courtroom for the first time.  The UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan asked for more money to help aid the victims of the earthquake in India.  Madonna proudly told the world that she didn't let her children watch TV. (Probably so they couldn't see their mom being such a media whore.) And somewhere in Asia, an Xbox 360 was stamped and sealed into its box to be sent to California.

That was my Xbox 360.

It was sold to Andy on launch day, and in an incredible gesture of kindness he forwarded it to me.  

She was a good machine.  She gave me an amazing amount of happiness for such a small little box that I technically couldn't physically copulate with.  I probably could have played with her more, but real life situations tend to get into the way of that.  Money being what it was, I wasn't expecting a lot of game things for Christmas, and was frankly surprised when my wife surprised me with "Gears of War" for our sixth or iron anniversary.  My wife has a wonderful sense of humor.

But I digress.

December 20th 2006:

Today, after playing the Novadrome demo while downloading the Halo 3 "Et Tu Brute" video, I finished my demo, and I went to play the Halo 3 video while waiting for a work process to complete.

After five seconds, it froze.  There was a strange popping sound, like a disc drive freezing, and the 1st, 3rd, and 4th quadrant lights went red and started to flash.

Barely over a year old, she was dead.

It's become almost too common to hear stories like this today.  With Microsoft's extended warranty deadline right around the corner, a part of me was worried that something like this would happen on January 2nd 2007th.  SO in a weird way I'm relieved.

In a weird way.

Here's some interesting facts I managed to find out in my conversation with a nice lady named Ashley from Microsoft's Xbox support center.

1)    If you didn't purchase the extended warranty, and your manufacture date is OVER a year, you don't get a coffin, you get to send it on your dime.

2)    The call center people are very well trained in a “turn lemons into lemonade” type of conversation.  “Good News! Even though your warranty is expired, you will not have to pay for THIS repair!”  I found that quite amusing.

3)    Try to hammer down as many facts as possible about the process, and you’ll be sweetly moved on to other topics of conversation.

Seriously, Ashley was very nice, very helpful, and managed to not let a single thing slip.  She wouldn’t tell me how many similar calls she had gotten.  She gave the impression of sympathy without sounding phony.  Microsoft if you are reading this, please make sure this woman is given a big ol’ raise, a pat on the back, or a huge bonus.  Let's face it folks, a call center job sucks; yet Ashley handled it very well even under my barrage of questions.

Today is December 20th, 2006.  11 days before the expiration of the extended warranty.   I’ve been assured that it only matters the date the case was opened, and not when the Xbox 360 arrives at the repair center, so I’m pretty sure things are going to go ok.

However, I’m a complete and total asshole, and nothing makes me happier than bitching about people screwing up.  So frankly I’m hoping they screw up.  Figure that one out.

I will be updating on a weekly basis with the latest stories on this little saga.  I’m hoping to have the Xbox 360 sent out tomorrow. (My company gives mad discounts on Fed Ex, so they should have it in their hands on Saturday.)

I remember my rational for camping for my brother in law’s Xbox 360.  I didn’t really do it for him as much as for the experience.  As someone who fancies himself a writer, you want to try to experience as much as possible so that when you write about it, it is as authentic as possible.  Heck at one point I considered going to jail just to experience it.

Long story for another time, and not a word will pass out of my lips about it, unless a TON of Southern Comfort goes in first.

I’ll be keeping a daily journal on this, so I’ll keep the reporting to at least once a week, or else you’ll be reading a lot of: “Nothing new today.”

This should be quite interesting.  Prove me wrong Microsoft!  Show me that all the whiners and complainers on the message boards are just that, whiners and complainers.  Show me that this will be (relatively) quick and painless.

In short, make me happy? Please? I already miss her; she died much too young and before she could show me a mall of zombies, or the world of Oblivion.

Semper Fi