Welcome to another edition of Game Randy: Dubious News, presenting you with the finest in exclusive, breaking stories that might be true but probably aren’t.

Tragedy struck today when a Nintendo press event turned deadly for six attendees.

Nintendo of America President and COO Reggie Fils-Aime hosted a small press conference Wednesay in Los Angeles in which he personally demonstrated unreleased Nintendo software products to a handful of reporters.

Fils-Aime has gained great notoriety since his appointment as NOA President in 2004.  His bold declarations of intent and audacious marketing strategies are seen as representative of the new, maturing face of Nintendo.  Furthermore, his greatly pronounced muscle structure and chiseled build has led many to question why a human behemoth such as himself would take seat in the plodding bureaucracy of an electronic game company.

The event went without incident for nearly an hour until what investigators speculate was a “bit of dust” apparently “caught his nose just right.”  This alleged irritation or a similar factor nonetheless resulted in the explosive reflex.

“It was one hell of a sneeze,” said forensic investigator Kathryn Anderson.  “These past few years of being stifled in the slothly processes of entertainment-sector economics created a surplus of pent-up Reggiramamine in the Manliness Center of his brain.”  A computer-animated recreation was used to crudely illustrate the resulting shockwave.

“This sneeze simply caused a natural expulsion of Reggie Rage,” Anderson continued.  “Those caught in the blast didn’t have a chance.  It’s terribly unfortunate that there were bystanders present, but it really couldn’t be avoided.”

Nintendo has publicly expressed condolences towards the families of the victims.  Special care was taken to remind them that their loved ones’ deaths were not in vain, as they were truly courageous sacrifices in the name of the Glorious Reggielution.

The six journalists in the immediate blast area were killed instantly and are not yet identifiable.  Initial reports estimate that at least a dozen nearby victims have suffered kicked asses, and paramedics have confirmed that as many as four victims have had their names taken.