What is it about parents' media watchdog groups?

They seem to see porn around every corner. And you know what, it only makes them look crazy -- which sucks because if anything, they should be a calm voice of reason and education for parents overwhelmed by emergent technology.

But they know as well as the Mitchell Brothers did that smut sells -- even if you're the ones who purportedly are trying to stop it.

Recently, a parents' website, PornTalk.com, sent out this missive to its readers warning them of the pus-covered, seeping disease that they could be inadvertenly letting into their homes by purchasing a Nintendo Wii:

Alright parents now listen up. We wanted to let you know that Nintendo's Wii Gaming Console can access pornography. This highly popular and very fun gaming console is one of the hottest items out there and is a blast to play. But because the device is a Wi-Fi (wireless internet) console able to access the internet, this means that you can surf the net pretty easily.

Gawd. This just makes me sick. Not because PornTalk isn't providing a necessary educational service to parents too busy to read the Nintendo's users manual. It actually is.

In fact, something that neither Kotaku nor Gizmodo (who broke this item) mentioned in their predictably snotty reports was that the post actually provides very good information for the parental owner of a new Wii. It goes into detail about parental controls the Wii offers and it shows how you can set up the system so that it cannot recieve or send messages -- both handy tools for a parent who's worried about the evils of the world coming to give their little angels herpes and sell their organs.

But of course, this couldn't be written starting with something like, "Wow. Nintendo has done a great job of providing us concerned parents a way to block inappropriate websites and keep pedophiles from contacting our kids. Hooray for Nintendo!"

Nope. That wouldn't sell eyes, now would it?

Of couse, they felt the need to grab their hair, put on their best Macauley Culken face and scream, "OH MY GOD, PEOPLE!!! YOU COULD ... concievably... GET PORN ON YOUR WII!!!!!!!!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!! SAVE THE CHILDREN!! GOOD LORD, THIS IS AMERICA!!! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!"

Of course, followed much later with handy details on how Nintendo has parental controls.

I'm sorry, but in an age when digital gaming entertainment is already suffered many slings and arrows from technological Ludites who are more interested in getting their names in the news than actually working to protect children (rhymes with "hack"), the last thing parents need is one more hysterical voice added to the chorus.

Especially a hysterical voice that obviously has done a little research and knows that the potential danger has already been taken care of.

So boo on you, you uptight, fear-mongering freaks at PornTalk. If you're going to offer desperately needed information to protect children, you have an obligation not to incite unnecessary parental panic in order to get a few hits. Stop using porn and fear as your selling tool. It makes you no better than the pornographers you supposedly are trying to stop.