It's the end of January, and all across the country (Japan as well) playstation 3's are sitting on store shelves.   What do you think Sony is thinking?   Lets be clear here, Sony is very much guilty of having some of the worst PR on the planet, but ultimately do you think they're even capable of recovering from their current position?    With exclusive deals dropping left and right, a higher price point (that grows even more if you're European) I think its important for we as gamers to ask ourselves what makes a console worth purchasing?

Are the games there?  No.   But even so, Sony has managed to sell a fair number (around 600k).   I have my theories though...

With as eccentric as we gamers are, I suspect the fault lies with this guy ... From what I'm told, he has three ps3's and you don't have any cake.

Welcome to another edition of Game Randy: Dubious News, presenting you with the finest in exclusive, breaking stories that might be true but probably aren’t.

Tragedy struck today when a Nintendo press event turned deadly for six attendees.

Nintendo of America President and COO Reggie Fils-Aime hosted a small press conference Wednesay in Los Angeles in which he personally demonstrated unreleased Nintendo software products to a handful of reporters.

Fils-Aime has gained great notoriety since his appointment as NOA President in 2004.  His bold declarations of intent and audacious marketing strategies are seen as representative of the new, maturing face of Nintendo.  Furthermore, his greatly pronounced muscle structure and chiseled build has led many to question why a human behemoth such as himself would take seat in the plodding bureaucracy of an electronic game company.

The event went without incident for nearly an hour until what investigators speculate was a “bit of dust” apparently “caught his nose just right.”  This alleged irritation or a similar factor nonetheless resulted in the explosive reflex.

“It was one hell of a sneeze,” said forensic investigator Kathryn Anderson.  “These past few years of being stifled in the slothly processes of entertainment-sector economics created a surplus of pent-up Reggiramamine in the Manliness Center of his brain.”  A computer-animated recreation was used to crudely illustrate the resulting shockwave.

“This sneeze simply caused a natural expulsion of Reggie Rage,” Anderson continued.  “Those caught in the blast didn’t have a chance.  It’s terribly unfortunate that there were bystanders present, but it really couldn’t be avoided.”

Nintendo has publicly expressed condolences towards the families of the victims.  Special care was taken to remind them that their loved ones’ deaths were not in vain, as they were truly courageous sacrifices in the name of the Glorious Reggielution.

The six journalists in the immediate blast area were killed instantly and are not yet identifiable.  Initial reports estimate that at least a dozen nearby victims have suffered kicked asses, and paramedics have confirmed that as many as four victims have had their names taken.

Hi folks, Cooper Hawkes here, what begins here is a "blog" of my time without my Xbox 360. Please keep a sense of humor when reading it and know that while parts are quite serious, others are very tongue-in-cheek.
 
I leave it to you to figure out which is which.
 
December 21st 2006:
 
"Gimmie a beat boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your Rock 'n Roll and drift away" – "Drift Away" - Doby Grey  (Not the crappy remake)
 
Music has picked up the slack for my gaming addiction. I hadn't realized it but even when I wasn't gaming, I was at least turning on the Xbox 360 to download some form of content or another, usually sneaking in a quick Arcade game or two. I'm finding that there are songs on my iPod I haven't listened to in some time, whose lyrics are suddenly strangely gaming relevant. It's probably just my mind playing tricks on me.
 
Today I took my Xbox 360 to work.

If you want a great new case mod for your 360, try this one. Suzuki has unveiled all it's 2007 model SUVs at the 2006 San Diego International Auto Show. Along with the lineup, they have also shown off a concept model. The SXBox. It's a part of the LIVE series of vehicles, designed for "life enthusiasts, adventurers and thrill-seekers." Life enthusiasts, hunh?

The vehicle comes with a 360 embedded into the dashboard and removable 360 controllers from the steering wheel and below the dash. It also has a close proximity digital projector to display the output from the 360 onto the retractable hood, activated with a single button, to play games and watch HD DVDs.

Personally, I would never want something like this. I don't need to be distracted while driving, at that, I don't think a vehicle is the best place to play video games or to watch a movie in. But that's just me. That, and that's why this is just a concept.

[VIA Xbox-Scene]

What? I'm not done yet? Well, I still have to give you my final gift - the couple meeting.

Before I do that, I hope you all have had (the Christmas celebrators) a great Christmas. I sure did.

Now, back to my gift.

After an insomniactic night, let's see what the gamer will be getting next. 12 batteries? 12 pillows? 12 PS3 controllers? 12 kisses?

Now that the gamer has a few new couches to lie around in and play on his many Wii's, PS3's, and watch TV, you would think he'd be all set. Well, yeah, except, he can't enjoy it because he's sleeping from exhaustion.

Maybe his girlfriend will solve that problem.

Welcome to another edition of Game Randy: Dubious News, presenting you with the finest in exclusive, breaking stories that might be true but probably aren’t.

Nintendo General Design Manager Shigeru Miyamoto announced last week his mid-term goal of beheading Sony and taking its women.  The Zelda creator announced Thursday that his enemies’ fates “have long been sealed” and that the punishment and torment that awaits them is both “swift and divine.”

“The very least I will take is their heads,” Miyamoto said of Sony in an interview with Famitsu over the weekend.  “From their bloodied and worthless countenances I will have claimed their dignity, and from their crippled barbarian dwellings, so too shall I claim their women.”  Miyamoto pantomimed swinging a sword, laughing lightheartedly, and made a sort of ‘scary-face.’

As reported, Miyamoto led his interviewer through a torch-lit walkway meticulously hewn from the local stratum, gesturing comically at many of the attractions.  In a sort of paternal expression, he put his arm around a classic Donkey Kong cabinet and patted it lightly.  Also on display was the gold-finished original Zelda cartridge, an enshrined beta copy of Super Mario 64, and a severed human foot in a mason jar marked by a dymo label reading “Ken Kutaragi.”

“I should hope the fool is grateful I only got away with this much.”  He held the blood-spattered container alongside his own head, and commented, “When next we cross paths, I will need a bigger jar!  Ha ha ha!”  He then set the jar back on its undignified dusty shelf, laughing heartily with both the dignity of a contemporary genius and the enthusiasm of an exuberant child.

Despite his candor, the designer was tight-lipped about his upcoming projects, only illustrating small aspects of development and creative processes.  “As you may recall, my interest in gardening in recent years served as the inspiration for Pikmin, in which the game conveys that attachment for the things you ‘grow’ and take pride in.  Super Mario Sunshine took classic principles of platforming adventure along with a child-like appreciation of water as both a tool and a plaything.  Now, with the Wii Remote, I have the opportunity to create all new ways of interacting with the subjects of my games.  I’m hoping to use the controller speaker, rumble, and motion tracking to full effect and faithfully reproduce the joy and immersion I found in killing a man just to watch him die.  You’ll find it is an amazing experience.”

On the subject of Nintendo versus its competitors, Miyamoto was outspoken and adamant about their place in the industry.  “It is not accurate to say we are competing.  While we seek to enrich and uplift a person with our arts, Sony’s soulless minions simply mine the medium for profit.  They chase out and drag back the same ideas and titles, like a dog fetching a stick.”  He chuckled and made an exaggerated pawing gesture and barking sound, adding, “How fitting, too, that they live like dogs.  Soon, they will die like them.”  Laughing, he made a prancing movement and a sad howling sound, then drove a jewel-encrusted dagger through his own hand for effect.

When asked his opinion on the recent turbulence in Sony structure, including the demotion of former President Ken Kutaragi, the father of Mario shared a last friendly guffaw; “Wherever Ken stepped down to, I hope it is ground-floor,” he said.  “Fucker’s not so good with stairs no more.”

With the lack of response, I would have thought he would broken up with her. Or, he's just stewing in his defeat by his girlfriend. Maybe he's just laughing at his loss.

Let's see what happens today.

After he stayed up all night, he crashed on the couch with a Wii-mote in one hand and a bottle of Bawls in another. At his feet, empty Wii, PS3, and more Bawls bottles. Then, his laptop, sitting on the coffee table, suddenly made a loud "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

He gets up and reads his email. Then he logs into his IM... hmm.

When will the madness end? Yesterday, she gave the gamer 7 more chances to get a "Wiinjury," 7 more chances for a broken TV, 7 more chances to have fun with his Wii.

You know, it's actually starting to be fun to see what she has up her sleeves next. Bring it on.

I really think that she could stop now with the six PS3s. There's really not much more she can give him. Seriously. She just needs to stop.

This couple is crazy. Where did she get the money to buy five Wiis? And what's her next gift? Does she have an endless pocket? Is she the daughter of a rich wife?

Wow. As the days go on, I think to myself, this story is getting more depressing and a bit more odd as we go on.

I'm still expecting a big pay-off by reading this, but nothing really exciting, well, except Miyamoto, has happened in the story. I'm starting to get bored of it myself. Maybe today will be a little better. Let's see what this wooing couple is doing.

I'm lovin on the outrageous eBay bids today.

This time, through miss-reading, a Best Buy receipt for a Nintendo Wii was sold for a whopping $451.

The description reads,

You are bidding on original " Nintendo Wii " Best Buy Sales Receipt. Dated 11/19/2006. Receipt is from Best Buy Store#482, located at 60 West 23rd Street in New York,NY 10010. Please note i have crossed out with a blue pen my personal information on Receipt. Thanks and Happy Bidding!

There was one person who at least pulled out. Once again, proof that one must completely read what is described on eBay.

[via TechEBlog]

The gift giver has been... well, keeping us guessing what her "big gifts" would have been. She keeps on stalling with things that seem to be totally unrelated.

Maybe today will be better. How much worse can her gifts go?

When we last left our couple, the game got two wireless routers, and while the gift-giver has some reason behind giving these wireless routers, it is still pretty much unknown to us.

The gamer, however, does put them to good use, using them to upgrade his existing wireless structure and speeding up his laptop wireless browsing. But, that's not gaming. So, what's going on here?

When we last left our couple, the gamer was left speechless by the gift of an HDTV. A fairly large one, at that. Boy, imagine what I would give for a girlfriend like that.

Now, I don't want to leave you guys hanging, so here's the next installment of the couple's emails... after the jump!

In order to elicit cheer and such for the Christmas season dawning upon us, I've devised a little series for us. We all know that Christmas is the time of year when electronics are purchased most frequenty. Everybody is getting something for everybody. That's where this starts out.

Picture a couple, let's say, in their twenties. They are seriously in love with each other. One has an addiction for games, the other tends to take things to another level. I believe you can see where this is starting to go.

Here's the emails that were exchanged between the couple. Wait! I want to keep this going, so only the emails they exchanged today (Dec. 13) will be posted.

Emails after the jump.

In the red corner, wearing aquamarine and white, the Wii.

In the blue corner, wearing black and.. uh, sometimes silver or occasionally white... and horfing down fistfulls of sour grapes, the PS3.

Actually, the fight is already over. Gaming site Spong noted this afternoon that the Wii has officially become the UK's fastest selling gaming console in history, with 100,000 units finding new homes over launch weekend.

This beats out the previous record holder, Microsoft, which sold 70,000 XBox 360 in its debut last year. And Sony with the amazing, phenominal, earth-shattering, mind-blowing, all-powerful PS3?

(Cue: The sound of crickets)

But why is this fight between Wii and the PS3?

Because despite the fact that the Wii is handing Sony a can of retail whoop-ass by selling nearly two times as many consoles in Europe than Sony, that Wiis are actually increasing in price on EBay, and that some PS3 owners on Craigslist saying they'll gladly trade their unopened PS3s for Wiis, Sony execs say they're not worried about Nintendo.

Why? Because the Wii -- according to Sony spokesman Dave Karraker -- is not a serious gaming console.

"We feel very confident that the PlayStation fan is going to wait until they can get a PlayStation 3...If they do pick up a Wii, it's as more of a novelty."

Wow. Does Sony provide the wheelbarrows necessary for its spokespeople to carry around their massive balls or do they have to buy their own?

Normally, if a huge, multi-national electronics firm offered such a passive-agressive statement about a smaller competing firm, I might consider it a sign of confidence.

But fact is -- Sony's getting its ass handed to them by this "novelty." Which means that isn't confidence that's talking: It's either abject fear or supreme ignorance.

Is Sony trying to act like the fat chick in that Apple spoof video or is it just a weird coincidence?

I'm not sure.

What do you think?

This thrown-Wii-remote issue is a sticky one.

Or more accurately, an excessively lubricated one that would benefit from some adhesive functionalities.

Seriously, people, this has got to stop.  I posit the following towards you as evidence:



Rob has thrown a Wii remote.  “Wii is weak,” you say?  I propose an alternate hypothesis to a situation.  Wii is not weak.  Rob is fucking insane.  In a cartoon-ized game about gently swinging a tennis racket via a several-ounce plastic wand, Rob hurled this small piece of polymers and circuits like a goddamn shot put.  Watch this video.  Watch a situation in which a man would simply need to wave a device lightly overhead as if a French maid were dusting a ceiling fan, and watch that situation degenerate as his greased palm catapults his Wiimote from his body in a downright Yeageresque attempt at breaking the sound barrier with a plastic toy.

As this crisis reaches such epidemic levels that throwing one’s Wiimote is topic of its own newsblog, I have to ask myself this question: When so many people in so many places are suffering from the same catastrophic new disease, would it really be fair of me to admonish them for their own parts in these incidents?

Yes.  Yes, it is.  It is and I am.  You’re all stupid.  Quit it.

This ‘problem’ is absurd beyond absurd.  The publicity and hand-holding that results from a psycho throwing a $50 piece of merchandise at a $500* one is obscene.  With morons left and right getting attention and credibility as they blame Nintendo for their own lack of bodily controls, it’s a wonder we aren’t giving trophies and websites to peolpe who shit their pants and write to Old Navy about it.

There is already an abundance of phallic iconography to be associated with this vibrating plastic rod we use to play our new video games.  It isn’t helping our case that people are apparently lathering themselves up in Jergens before handling it. 

I don’t know what else to express here, people.  I have played Wii.  I have loved Wii.  I actually have logged in more hours in Tennis than most RPGs.  Despite the addictive nature of this very exciting and energetic pastime, I have not once suffered from any explosive episodes of spasmodic retardry that would force me to propel my Wiimote in any Goliath-slaying fashion.  No person in my presence has done so.  The greatest injuries I have witnessed consisted of a whack to the forehead during a zealous swing and a bruise to my thumb when my bowling swing clipped the cellphone in my pocket. 

Nintendo has been fast to respond, saying that people are getting a little ‘too excited’ as they play and furnishing the AU launch with mightier straps.  The well-oiled machine that is Nintendo’s PR is second only to the well-oiled and perhaps frictionless palms of its greasy-limbed detractors. 

If you have smashed home appliances with a greasily flung Wiimote, there is something wrong with you.  If you are looking forth right now towards a broken television screen with half a Wiimote sticking out of a gaping, cracked wound, I suggest you look a little closer.  Gaze into that broken television, and you will see the reflection of an idiot.

I'm not sure of the author of this item. It turned up on the Hybrid Reaction guild site, and if you're a World of Warcraft player, it's hilarious.

Well, it would be hilarious but it eerily contains more unintended truth than the author probably anticipated.

BUG FIXES IN WORLD OF WARCRAFT v2.0

1. Fixed an issue where Shamans were occasionally dying while playing the game.

2. Fixed an issue where spell casters could not one-shot melee classes.

3. Fixed an issue where warriors were capable of tanking boss level monsters. We never meant for this to happen and it was never working as intended.

4. Fixed an issue where hunters were considered a "ranged dps" class. All hunters should now be able to properly main tank an instance.

5. After reports that paladins were being required to heal, buff, and cleanse during a raid and could do nothing else, we have fixed this bug. The paladin class is now as useless as it was originally intended to be.

6. The LFG channel was being flooded with unintended global chat. This chat has now been properly moved to the trade channel as it was originally intended.

7. Druids now have a "god-mode" toggle switch on their character sheet. Who the hell did those other classes think they were in the first place?

8. Fixed an issue where hunter traps were giving an unfair advantage in duels. Cheaters.

9. All PvP honor points have been reset in accordance with our desire to make you pay for another year of game time to grind for your rewards. We own your souls.

10. Fixed an issue where the Alliance stood an equal chance of winning in a PvP battleground. QQ more Alliance...FOR THE HORDE!

11. Fixed an issue where some players were able to log into the game. What? You thought you were going to get something for that $15 per month?

12. Fixed an issue where some realms were up and some were down. All realms are now down. Do the dishes, you freak.

Upcoming Bug Fixes:

1. Fixed an issue where annoying, bratty kids all congregated on the Alliance side. To fix this issue we will implement the "Blood Elf" race. Suck it up Hordies.

Been having fun with this little motivational-poster creator.

But add that with WiiHaveAProblem.com and the possiblities are endless.

Happy Sunday.

Yeah, pretty much either the advertising copywriter for Circuit City who wrote this ad was a moron and deserves to be fired or is the king of ironic comedy and deserves a big carboard crown with little glitter sprinkles on it!



You can say the PS3 is a lot of things:

Ready to play (Blu-Ray disks)? Yes.

Ready to rotate (the Sixaxis controller)? Most certainly.

Ready to show (the 1080i HD graphics)? Absofreakinglutely.

But "ready to rumble"?

As the only next-gen console that doesn't have a rumble feature, maybe Circuit City should have employed a different phrase. Perhaps any phrase but "Ready to Rumble." Might I suggest "Ready to be shipped by sometime mid-January."

Maybe not. That's why I'm not an advertising copywriter, I guess.

[From 360 Fanboy]

More game-related motivational posters up at Destructoid.

Humor site The Onion has once again made me laugh so hard I sprayed Diet Coke out my nose.

Its writers took on the ubuiquitous PS3 versus Wii comparison that every news outlet and its mother is doing right now.

Oddly enough, its analysis makes more sense and is more true-to-life than most of the "serious" news sites. When the chart "price" comparisson notes the PS3 as being "fucking ridiculous" and the Wii as being "reasonably ridiculous," you pretty much have hit the mark spot on!

[From The Onion]

You knew it was going to happen.

I believe this is the first incarnation of what will likely become a new variant of machinima: Mii-nima.

Using the Mii function of a Wii, a user named Bluegoggles used a scene from The Big Lubowski with Mii characters and Wii Bowling to create a rather humorous little video.

Warning: Filled with obscenties, so those underage should just take my word for it and not watch unless your parents say it's okay.

Find it here.

Enjoy, dude.

Welcome to another edition of Game Randy: Dubious News, presenting you with the finest in exclusive, breaking stories that might be true but probably aren’t.

As reported last week, Utah Representative David Hogue made a successful push to pass his sponsored bill regarding the sale of ‘Material Harmful to Minors.’  The outstanding factor in this proposal is the unique approach of defining and classifying the ‘harmful content’ of video games by the same standards and setups as pornography.  For this reasons, the media has dubbed this the “Games-as-Porn” bill.

“I very seriously think that we need to push this forward and find if we’re going to have a challenge or not and have the attorney general fight those battles,” said Hogue.  He went on to support his position, adding, “I know for a fact and can say without exaggeration or hyperbole that every single taxpayer in America knows that the luscious irony of Master Chief blasting an alien Covenant Elite with his allies’ own plasma rifle is precisely equal to Ron Jeremy nailing five bimbos at once, if not several hundred times worse.” 

Several days upon the approval of this bill, however, it was discovered that faulty wording within the bill radically changes its scope and application.  In what district clerks refer to as ‘a spectacularly unlikely string of coherent typos,’ the Utah bill effectively forces video games to subject to the same standards and judgments of certain departments of agriculture.  Specifically, all entertainment software is now managed and classified as corn.

Blender + Coke + Wiimote = Coke smoothie with Wiimote chunks.

A radio host got one of those super blenders from BlendTech that can blend rake handles, marbles, and pens. While the blender choked the first time he tried to blend the Wiimote (like the Creed CDs he stuck in there), a little fumbling and some Coke-a-Cola managed to get the Wiimote nice and broken. The main body of the controller survived ... somewhat. That's durability folks.

[Via Kotaku]

Synthetic fur... eww. Give me real mink.

[Via Xbox-Scene]

Ahhh, Sacramento, California.

Not to say it's a bad place. It has a lot going for it. It's the capital of the state. It's got Ahhnold at least for four more years. It's the hometown of Molly Ringwald.

Mmmmm... Moooolly Riiiingwald.

But as for GameStop employees, the greater Sacremento Area leaves a bit to be desired if Tauryn Robert Hodge and Gerald Anthony Keys are any example.

Hodge and Keys, both 19, masterminded a fieeeendishly clever plan (cue: wringing of hands) to score four PS3s using a five-finger discount.

But they didn't just want to steal them. That would be too easy for criminal geniuses like them.

So they claimed that a masked, armed gunman came into their GameStop store in Elk Grove, robbed them, and took off with the four PS3s.

After the reported robbery, many retailers in the area hired private security firms to man their gaming stores for fear that more rampaging masked gunmen would swoop down on their stockpiles of the console.

Authorities in Elk Grove arrested the two after their perfect plan turned out to be... uhhh... no so perfect. Police won't say what tipped them off other than to state that elements of the crime were inconsistent with a robbery. None of the missing PS3s have been recovered, yet.

Hodge and Keys face charges of suspected embezzlement, burglary and conspiracy, and Hodge is looking down the business end of a "filing false police report" charge, since he was the one who called the robbery in to police.

So, remember kids, if your buddy at the local gaming store comes up with a fiendishly clever plot to pull in "meeelions," best to remind yourself that cops are generally more clever than a criminal mastermind working at GameStop.

[From the Sacramento Bee]

So, by now you've heard about our big movement to get some form of response from Epic on their broken ranked multiplayer system in the blockbuster hit of the season, Gears of War.

Early next week (following the holidays), I'm going to start sending daily emails to Epic in hope that I'll just get annoying enough for it to respond. In the meantime, however, I think there are still some people out there who actually buy into this post made by a Gears of War developer, Joe Graf, who essentially says, "It's Microsoft's fault, talk to them."

I, like many of you, was willing to buy into that excuse (despite Saints Row's lobby-based system that apparently "slipped through the cracks"). But no longer.

In an interview with several Bungie (Halo 3) developers published yesterday on 1up.com, Luke Smith brought up Epic's recent accusations (though not in so many words):

1UP: Recent Xbox Live games have made it difficult to party with your friends for ranked games, the reasons have been cited as Microsoft's certification and TrueSkill system. Will players be able to enter ranked games as a party in Halo 3?

Allen Murray, producer: Of course! Core features from Halo 2, such as the Party System, will remain intact and are being improved upon. You will most definitely be able to create a party with your friends and enter into ranked matchmaking -- that's where the fun is! The Xbox certification process and TrueSkill system do not prevent games from having a feature that allows parties of friends to enter into ranked matchmaking as a team -- but they also do not provide that feature as part of the core set of matchmaking services. This system is something that Bungie has built into our game that is uniquely ours and a key ingredient in our special sauce.

Full Story

Unfortunately, since it's Thanksgiving and I'm at my folks house on dialup, I'm unable to put up a picture or even stay to comment further on this rather revealing comment. I encourage YOU though to post your thoughts. Anybody think that GA and the Gears community is unfairly dealing with Epic? Does this latest comment from Bungie entirely invalidate Epic's excuses and reveal this missing funcitonality to be, in fact, due to a rushed game?
Either way though,

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM GAMERANDY.COM!!

Play Beyond. Very probably a tagline that Sony will take to the grave and defend it up until the final moments. We've seen Riiiidge Racer come and go, 4D Gaming has left the building, and This Is Living is just a statement easily forgotten (to make it truthful, In Abject Poverty! could be added). Play Beyond, though, lives on. In your feet.

Nike, in its constant and sometimes odd determination to put is brand on your feet, has released a Playstation Shoe. According to PS3 Fanboy, bastion of unbiased PS3 news, the shoe features an awesome hologram "swoosh," if only awesome due to its rarity -- only 24 pairs are in existance (a substantial amount more than PS3s in Europe).

The shoes also feature the PS3 launch date slapped on the back and mechanical drawings of the PS3 inside the shoe. The part of the shoe that dissuades me from purchase (aside from its price -- $3,000 is a little steep for shoes) is the patent leather, which mimics the heat sinks on the PS3. Yes, leather mimicing a computer component. Smart Leather. My only fear is when this smart leather one day rises up against its stinky-footed master, automagically tying the shoelaces together, like in a Tex Avery cartoon.

I almost forgot to mention: Please do put a bid in. According to the auction site, all of the proceeds from the auction will go to a charity. Remember, theses are the most awesomest shoes of all time!

Auction HERE

Yeppers. It's real and courtesy of our silly friends at Gizmodo.

Those silly Canadians. They're so sweet. They're so funny. They're so literal.

This is, supposedly, a true EBay Canada auction, wherein a sly seller is trying to cash in on the PlayStation 3 hysteria (or at least make a good joke) by duct-taping together a PSone and a PS2.

Technically that would make it a Playstation 3, right? RIGHT??

Look at that line. Look at that angle. See the grey of the duct tape glimering in the midday sun!

Look on this might PlayStation OnePlusTwoDoesNotEqualThree, ye mighty, and despair!

You gotta give mad props to the guy for creativity, and hats off the Canadian schools system, which apparently managed to successfully drill into the noggin of at least one Canuck that "one plus two equals three."

[Read Gizmodo story here, and thanks for the tip, Kev!]

Word of this comes from M3mnoch over at Addicting Entertainment, (a great place to find unconventional news and commentary).

He spotted an interesting trend on the official PS3 forums that was then backed up by the (I assume) EULA. Essentially it goes like this

While on the PlayStation3 forum, please keep all content related to the Playstation 3, its games and accessories, thanks.

Comparison threads about other consoles and their contents vs. PS3 aren't permitted on this board.

Oh the humanity. We knew this was coming. All the jokes about the PS3 looking like a George Forman grill has finally resulted in some actual PS3 harm.

This gutted out and retrofitted PS3 now, instead of cooking up a few games, cooks up a few meat pieces -- and not with its processor either. The guys over at The Real PS3 Grill gutted out a fresh PS3 and installed an electric griddle... and cooked a few dogs and pieces of chicken to prove it worked.

[Via Engadget]

Here's another video (and probably the last vid of the day) but this one is different. Why? Because I filmed it!

Yeah, the shakey-cam was from the caffiene. Apologies, there.

It was inevitable, really. The robots have risen and are taking out our methods of mass-communication. The Wiimote has struck first. During a seemingly not-homoerotic, though sweaty, play session with a Wii, it began. The 60-inch television used by SomethingAwful forum member "Tuxedo Jack" has become the first victim in the war against the machines! Okay, enough Terminator-style hyperbole. Jack has actually become the first victim of what Dr. Esquavez P. Kalkoon* has described as Sweaty Palmed Flinging Disorder. When this condition is apparent at the same time as Faulty WiiMote Strap-itis, a deadly (for televisions) event follows.

Pacing back and forth from store entrance to back of the line, the Wii man aggrovates and taunts the already dissatisfied Playstation 3 campers. With such statements as "you can move me around, and shit" and "the Wii controller has rumble; what happened Sony?", morale was taking a hit.

The response? Someone yells out "PSP!... oh wait, no, PS3!", revealing most people in line really don't have a clue why they're there. Even so, the cranky Playstation 3 campers who knew why they were standing in line retaliated with a few sub-par remarks, making terrible Wii related jokes. Yes, we all understand the name of Nintendo’s newest console seems similar to a part of the male human anatomy. No, we don’t need you to make a second grade joke about it.

It's PS3 launch day and you're dying to get your hands on one. Only problem is you have a life. Not to fear however, as we all know large department stores with small sections of video games don't usually have campers lining up days in advance. So you and some buddies head over to your local Sears and ask around for a PlayStation 3.

To your dismay the store only has two units, and they're already reserved. Then suddenly from out of nowhere the sales representative, not yet ready to lose a $600 customer, points you in the direction of the Nintendo Wii. The notion of enlightening the sales person of the actual release date notwithstanding, you calmly grab a Wii box, pay for it, and head straight for the Internet -- or at least, that's what this guy did on NeoGAF.

Looking for a Wii? Head to Sears!

With precious few hours left for people to get their PS3s (precious many months for myself), SCEA is trying their little hearts out to make you feel. Feel anything at all, rather than the numb rage that many of us have been feeling in the recent months.
Its latest advertising stunt involves allowing you to watch a crying baby, and speaking to NewsWeek, senior VP of marketing at SCEA, Peter Dille, feels that whatever you feel, "those answers are true, if that's what it means to you." What?
Is he trying to say that what I feel about a baby, desperately in need of something, is at all similar to what I feel about the PS3? If I feel that the baby needs care and attention, it doesn't necessarily mean I want to give a PS3 a home. Man alive, PS3s are more expensive than children!
Mr. Dille goes on to criticize the blogging community surrounding the Xbox 360 (at least there is one), as well as the drip-feeding of demos to gold members and then silver members. They can start complaining when they stop drip-feeding Europeans PS3s.

It hasn't been too long since the furor over EA hijacking people's most intimate knowledge after a few games of Xbox Live (credit card details, house address, former lovers), and already people have forgotten about it. Now, however, it has reemerged, much like the fiends that pop out on GoW. After some (oddly thorough) rechecking of the EA's terms of use agreement by JeffxPx (thanks, by the way), it has become apparent that some lawyer at EA physically cannot write English. I shall call him Pablo Esquavez, Lawyer at Law.

Good Lord, Videogames being used as a mechanism in our grand political machine?   *Gasp*  Whip my ass and call me Lula!       Just kidding, the name's Andy....

GA's Favorite "Lets-Check-What-Stupid-Thing-Washington-Is-Doing-To-Games-Now" site GamePolitics.com is covering a story from the AP about a presidential hopeful, Walmart, and the PS3 in a launch day scandal rife with the scent of a wealthy childs broken dreams.

On Wednesday Edwards criticized the giant retailer while participating in a conference call with labor activists from WakeUpWalMart.com. Company officials claim that on the same day an Edwards staffer asked a Wal-Mart store in Raleigh to hold a PS3 for the ex-Senator. Edwards denied the charge:

Elizabeth and I don’t shop at Wal-Mart. We haven’t been in a Wal-Mart in years. We instructed no one to contact Wal-Mart on our behalf.

Wal-Mart spokesman David Tovar wouldn’t name the staffer who supposedly made the request, but told the AP the caller left a voice mail saying he worked for Edwards. Company officials confirmed that he was an Edwards staffer by calling back. The retail giant subsequently issued a statement accusing Edwards of trying to use his status to obtain a scarce PS3:

While the rest of America’s working families are waiting patiently in line, Sen. Edwards wants to cut to the front.

*Snicker*  But wait! Theres more!  Check out the full story over at GamePolitics.com

To many, it was obvious; Dead or Alive creator (and apparent lech) Tomonobu Itagaki, famed 'god' of Dead or Alive and Ninja Gaiden, had an ulterior motive when creating the much-publicised "Jiggle Tech" used in DOAXBV2 (Long list o' letters there): To stare at women.
He was formally charged yesterday for sexual harrasment in a Japanese court by a former employee and romantic interest. The grand total of the damage is, according to Gamebrink, 10 million yen. At the latest check, XE.com says that 10 million yen is equal to £44,591, or $84,845.
According to the woman involved, she and Mr. Itagaki were romantically involved for 2 years, during which time all acts were consentual, up until 10th September of this year, when she left Team Ninja.
Apparently, Mr. Itagaki has been demoted from his position - adding insult to injury, perhaps? So who's next? Is lovable Shiggy next? Are Ken Kuturagi's loins unsatiated by Ridge Racer love? Is Peter Moor hiding tatoos that he may not be so able to show to the public?

This is extremely funny. Kotaku has posted up a rumor about how Best Buy is repositioning its store around to make the customer have a very easy time picking up his/her PS3/Wii along with accessories. The launches will be days apart, but the routine will be the same. Basically, this is how it'll go.

1. Customer enters store
2. Customer reaches front of line queue
3-5. Customer seeks end to end solution
Software table - All PS3/Wii software titles
Accessories table - All PS3/Wii accessories
Services table - Geek Squad, PRP, GamePro, GameFly
6. Customer trades ticket for hardware unit
7. Customer pays for everything
8. Customer exits

Funny. Personally, I don't like launches of any kind because it requires too much effort to get something that, in a few weeks, won't mean so much to me. That, and the prices are not low enough for me to justify buying anything. I like to wait.

And I thought Bully went into court for violence. Either this is a bug or a glitch, but whatever the case, it's just plain weird. It's one thing to have a gay room-mate. It's another to see two guys actually make out. (No flame sessions, please.) Especially two seemingly straight ones.

My room-mate alerted me to the GayGamer article that took the game to a different level. I later saw it on Joystiq and decided that this should be shared to the GA.com community.

Video after the jump.

There are very few games I am fervently looking forward to on the Xbox Live Arcade - 2, in fact, Castle Crashers, a charming game of pillage and slaughter, and Small Arms, which is Super Smash Bros., only with massive guns. So when I'm told that one is so racist it has made a woman call up GameTrailers and demand that the second coming of the crusades be stopped before children start watching, I begin to have second thoughts on the sanity of the populace...

More after the gap.

Welcome to another edition of Game Randy: Dubious News, presenting you with the finest in exclusive, breaking stories that might be true but probably aren’t.

Citing growing sales and success in their flagship NFL franchise even after altogether removing development and innovation, John Madden NFL series publisher Electronic Arts has announced that they will cut costs further by having John Madden stake out game retailers and personally rob you at gunpoint.

The Madden NFL series has been a staple of the EA corporation and console industry since the 1992 release of John Madden Football ’92 in 1992, released just one year before the landmark John Madden Football ’93 a year later in 1993.  Its total sales have surpassed 50,000,000 units in the US, and just over fifty million units worldwide.  Setting a precedent of proactive synergistic neo-lethargy, EA set itself steadfast to a doctrine of strict non-innovation since 2002.  This new marketing and distribution strategy intends to cut out distribution and marketing to maximize end-consumer relevance.

Welcome to another edition of Game Randy: Dubious News, presenting you with the finest in exclusive, breaking stories that might be true but probably aren’t. 

Ken Kutaragi stunned, shocked, and generally worried the industry today with his announcement that, in the wake of the PlayStation 3’s launch fiascos, Sony is already designing the PlayStation 4 chipset to be produced in larger quantities for significantly less cost using high-efficiency rituals of demonic alchemy.

“The improved Infernal Engine processor will give the PlayStation 4 the capacity to render graphics so lifelike that normal viewers will be coerced into performing unspeakable deeds by expertly-rendered apparitions of their deceased friends and family,” Kutaragi explained.  “PS4 units will ship and sell at no loss to us, even at launch.  The process of manufacture, though damning the eternal souls of all those who witness it, is a fraction of the cost of the prohibitive and inefficient Blu-ray diodes and Cell processors of the PS3.  In fact, I’m not sure what the hell we were thinking with those.”

In a powerpoint presentation narrated by Kaz Hirai, it was explained how the chip-assembly process makes optimum use of the bonded souls of lost children to fabricate its high-speed architecture.  “The processor itself is ethereally bound to that incomprehensible darkness that lurks within us all,” expounded Hirai.  “Materials cost is reduced from the previous array of silicon, copper, and assembly line whatnot by manufacturing directly from a hellish forge hewn from tainted marble by chisels of defiled bones.” 

Gesturing to a complicated diagram connecting Dante’s various levels of Hell to startup routines, Hirai continued, “It is only once the console is activated that the user will truly begin to ‘pay the price,’ as it were,” he said, laughing somewhat jovially, “The intangible ectoplasmic talons of the PS4 chipset will immediately begin to burrow into the immortal soul of whatever condemned fool that dared to touch it.  There they will coil deeper and deeper, sealing the consumer’s eternal fate for massive damage.  Only on the day of the product end-user’s divine judgement will their folly be apparent.  Woe unto ye players, for thy greatest sin this will truly be.”

“All launch titles will be 1080p compatible,” Kutaragi added.

So, last week the site "Level My 360" showed up - We all laughed it off and assumed that it was just a publicity stunt... After all, NOBODY is that shallow... Right?